“Good teams win ugly” is a sporting cliché that belongs in the great pantheon of sporting clichés (along with “It was a game of two halves”, “we will take the positives from this loss”, “one game at a time”, “I didn’t know she was a hooker”, “yo comí una vaca contaminada entera”). Manchester United, particularly in 2010/11, are a team that has specialised in this ability throughout their existence. The second placed team of 1987/88 played such an objectionable and unconvincing brand of football that most people could not stand within a 1 mile radius of the stadium for 90 minutes (plus stoppage time) or risk a severe mental breakdown of the sort suffered by Mr and Mrs Rooney on that one unmentionable drunken night in January 1985 while on their honeymoon in Manchester (budget airlines still being over 10 years away). Surely the most famous example in cricket history of winning ugly was Australia’s whitewash of England in 1979-80. This series included several memorable incidents including:
- Dennis Lillee fending off a rampant Ian Botham for 105 balls in the second innings of the first Test with what appeared to be an oversized salmon.
- Ray Bright bowling 11 maidens in the second innings of the same match as the batsmen were unable to even set eyes on the ball they were of such turgid quality, eventually forcing the umpire to insist that the ball be wrapped in a brown paper bag
- Graham Gooch being run out in the first innings of the third Test having passed out from exhaustion running on 4 consecutive ‘tactical’ overthrows
Kilmington and Stourton have certainly been winning ugly this year, each victory punctuated by a couple of outstanding individual performances. Such is the overflowing bounty of KSCC’s all-round capabilities that this has also been extended to losing ugly in 2011, from the self combustion of the Castle Cary game to the horrific loss to Middlezoy which was so offensive on the eyes that it has been invited to join the second series of Geordie Shore. However, even out of fluent form, they have found ways to win and continue a successful campaign in the upper echelons of the league ladder.
Barrington are a fellow National Trust team, having their lovely tree-lined ground situated on the grounds of Barrington Court. On arrival, it provided idyllic surrounds including a rustic thatched pavilion. The pitch looked a bit mossy and under-used, except for the efforts of a couple of rabbits that had dug holes around and in it which required some field surgery. On winning the toss, Your Brave Leader (TM) had no hesitation in sending the opposition to bat with the hope of blasting them out early.
The initial overs from Tommy B and The Strangler were tight. A couple of the times the batsmen opened up to break the shackles and a couple of other times the ball nearly flew to hand, but the partnership stayed intact. After Toms very economical first spell (7 over, 9 runs), the Barrington openers looked to up the tempo with 50 runs coming from the next 10 overs without a wicket. The surprise packet of the innings was a great marathon 7 over spell from Biffer Burles with his archaeology-grade left arm seamers. He had both openers dropped (one an appallingly disappointing effort from the skipper) only for The Destroyer to mop them up from the other end each time, in what was proving an up and down spell that had a bit of everything in it. Luckily, Tom Barton’s hands were still working and he was able to secure a very good catch on the boundary while still remaining in play. However, KSCC were unable to capitalise on these important breakthroughs. Barrington began to plunder runs from a variety pack of KSCC bowlers, including a returning Tommy B. Their cause was aided and abetted by a substandard KSCC fielding performance which offered up a full house of drops, overthrows, standing on our heels, unsighted boundary riders and dodgy field placement. Amongst the runs, Tommy B punched through the two set batsmen to open up the middle order, but it was all too late. El Capitan took the ball for the last over and delivered an all action over, claiming 10/2. The early plan had been soundly tossed out the window as Barrington ended their 45 overs on 224/6.
In the egg sandwiches available at Barrington we may have found a challenger to the legendary egg sandwiches of Bagborough, each wedge containing enough salt to allow Spencer to perform his amazing “Jesus On Water Spectacular” on Stourhead’s lake for a sell out week. The run chase began with a bang as 13 runs were plundered from it. However, El Capitan fell playing at the wrong length in the 5th over with the score on 30 and Ballistic Tomlinson played an uppish cover drive straight to the man at cover a mere 8 runs later. What happened after that was one of the great impact partnerships of the modern KSCC era. The Anternator produced a bag full of trademark power drives, punctuated with some typically loud shouts and some well run 1’s and 2’s. At the other end, Livewire Benny laid bat on ball, thwacking the ball through and over the leg side. He also found his legs and hared between the wickets as the pair completely demoralised the previously upbeat Barrington attack. Just as it began to look like they would blast the score in record time, both men fell after a partnership of 115 in 12 overs. Ant was the first to go, bowled through the gate by the first ball from the spinner (who had opened the bowling from the other end bowling away swing). Not long after, Livewires defences were pierced by the young quick, who couldn’t decide whether to bowl wides or peaches. Barringtons tails were up when Sammy G got one of those peaches early, a ball that seamed a mile to bowl him between bat and pad. The Professor and Biffer Burles then commenced the rear guard action, as the light faded and the sun shone through mottled trees right behind the bowlers arm. Both men fought hard for their runs before Biffer was given out going back to a straight one from the left arm around spinner. It might have been straight, but debate rages whether it was high and with the author’s recent umpiring form that could be entirely true. As The Professor scratched ones and superbly struck boundaries, the required score crept every closer (the required rate long forgotten thanks to the earlier blast). The Golden Boy never looked in and, when he holed out early, Barrington were in raptures and could sniff a win...but that would be the last of the wickets. Escorted by Tommy B, Jon Rowe took control and saw KSCC past the post, eventually passing the total to be 229 for 7 from 38 overs.
To describe the effort as patchy would be a disservice to Andy Murray’s beard, but thanks to the big partnership that came and went in a flash, we made it home to take the win. There is plenty of room to improve and we could probably do with a complete performance at least once this season.
Bowling: o m r w
T Barton 12 4 38 2
S Churchill 9 0 43 2
C Hansen 1 0 10 2
Batting:
A Williams 67
B Chant 44
J Rowe 34*
C Hansen 22
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