Historical Note: The preceding week saw the eruption of the unpronounceable Icelandic volcano, throwing European air travel into disarray and leaving many to try and find their way home any way that they could.
The history books are, I believe, full of blunders. I can't confirm this myself as my history text books usually ended up playing the role of firelighters on the barbeque or propping up one corner of a Holden Ute while we 'borrowed' a set of chrome hubcaps from it's owner...but I am assured by a quick search on the internet that this is indeed the case. Gallipoli, the Sinclair C5, The Charge of the Light Brigade, Nasser Hussain in Brisbane in 2002-2003, The Famous Pistachio Incident of 1788 and The Wild Geese (while 'reading' Great Expectations on VHS back in the day I found that there was a wealth of educational learning material at the local video store including, but certainly not limited to, Zulu, The Dam Busters, Smokey and the Bandit 3 and Porky's). As I lie awake at 4am on the morning of the game (after a harrowing week of selection difficulties that forced David Barton to threaten me physically with a rather ragged looking piece of paper with some crossed out names on it), I thought I was to join that league of great generals that, despite their obvious talents for....um....generaling..., find themselves run out of the village in the middle of the night. Chased in most part by an angry mob sitting patiently on a pursuit heavy roller and brandishing flaming cricket stumps.
With the changes in the 2nd XI's league that meant a new fixture a week before the regular season start and the choice of the 1st XI captain to accept a rearranged fixture from August to that very day...we were left to find 22 moderately to not very fit men to form 2 cricket sides. This, it turns out, was a not very simple task. By Friday night, both teams had only 10 players...and then the seconds had 9...and I was looking like I may have done something a little blundery. However, out to change history for the positive was no other than a History teacher! Ant Williams, agent to the stars, managed to secure the services of none other than the Indiana Jones of Gillingham School, Tommy Harrison. The Chairman dropped back to the 2's to provide some senior support and we travelled away to rivals Middlezoy with 10 able men.
As is normal for a trip out to Middlezoy, it was a fine day and it could easily have been the August day of the original fixture. The ground looked good and we were stuck in by a Middlezoy outfit looking to rout us in our traditional opening day self destruct sequence.
With an interesting batting lineup arrayed, things didn't start well with the early loss of the dangerous Ant Williams to a rising delivery. This brought in the Continental dynamo and part-time volcano avoider, Ray Rose. Ray had made his way from the south of Italy on foot, lugging his newly acquired collection of antique Mediterranean Toast Slices and a hold-all full of Continental lager, only arriving back in Blighty on Friday night. It was in a trance like state that he was thrust into the 3 spot and it was in that same state that he started middling balls from the get go. With some mighty thwacking of the ball (endangering friendly and enemy spectators alike) he treated bowler after bowler from the opposition attack with the sort of disdain usually reserved by French waiters for English travellers who find themselves unexpectedly in Nice. The Skipper plugged away at the other end, watching the eruption from a safe viewing distance, and even Nemesis Barnard was repelled with comfortable ease. Middlezoy were sagging when the Skipper finally departed on 64, a respectable total put in perspective by the fact that it was a 173 run second wicket partnership! Ray continued with Jon Rowe immediately hitting his stride. However, quick wickets fell in the chase for late runs. The Professor Jon Rowe for 22 and finally Ray Rose for a staggering 136. Cameos from Freddie B and Indi pushed the final total to 273 for 8.
The Middlezoy tea was typically tasty and excessive, even taken al fresco thanks to the Village Ball being setup in the Clubhouse. While a very handy score, everyone was aware that we were a man short in the field and some big scores have been set up at that ground thanks to some short straight boundaries. After a steady start, Snooky (allegedly the unlickiest player in the county?) picked up the dangerous Nemisis Barnard, unusually caught (rather unconvincingly) at first slip...possibly the first slip catch seen taken when Simon wasn't standing there himself! However, copycats Middlezoy then decided to build a large second wicket stand. A couple of edges flew through a tired keeper and a startled first slip and debutant Sammy G nearly pulled off a spectacular low diving catch....but the partnership went on. A draining one over spell from Your Brave Leader (TM) was then followed by the introduction of spin on a turning track. Freddie bowled a fairly tidy spell until the lefty Roberts decided to cart him for 24 in his 6th over...a feat he enjoyed replicating from last year when he was playing in the colours of Barton St David and set about demolishing the estate across the road with precision strikes. Spence failed to have his usual impact and it was left to the Skipper to make a normally disasterous decision and bring himself back on in a double change that also saw a spell from The Professor. KSCC 1s were entering their normal mid-innings drift and the target was being threatened in a big way. After disappearing for 9 in his first over back, the complexion of the game changed with the removal of both set batsman, bowled Skippy. Immediately, Kilmington were back on top and building pressure. The knife was sucessfully twisted when Rayzzo once again popped up to stump the last of the true resistance...not that he knew much about it as it cannoned off his pads into the stumps. After spending all that time in Italy it was surprising he wasn't rolling around on the ground, holding his pads and appealing for a penalty! As if that wasn't enough, there was yet another amazing feat to come. Tom Barton came back on to close out the innings and, it is fair to say, closed out the innings. 5 wickets within 6 balls, obviously including a hat trick, is an awesome feat. That they were all bowled attempting to keep him out was even more impressive. That the Skipper decided to acknowledge this effort despite robbing him of a 5-fa is bordering on the unbelievable! Just like that, the game was over. After looking like we might have let the game slip we walked away 20 minutes later with a 72 run, 35 point victory.
So it is that I am still here to write this report...and that we can now take a weekend off in August knowing that full points are already in the bag. It was a mighty fine effort and I was proud of my lads for performing in such a challenging situation (assuming that pride feels like that surging flood of relief after surviving a near death experience).
Batting:
R Rose 136
C Hansen 64
J Rowe 22
Bowling: o m r w
T Barton 8.3 0 21 5
C Hansen 6 0 21 4
S Snook 10 0 49 1
It was great to welcome 2 new Firsts players into the fray. Sammy G will face easier bowling than Nathan Barnard in his cricketing career and put in a great display in the field, going close with a couple of run outs as well as the speccy almost-catch. Indi prowled in the depths of the outfield, bull whip in hand and happy that there were no snakes out there. Big thanks also to our new scorer Don, who would have had more chance of making sense of the bowling changes if the Middlezoy attack didn't all look like identical Lego men with black hair. :)_
Starting before everyone else means that we are officially top of the table. Is there any chance that it might rain non-stop until September?
I should also say that the Seconds came away with a huge win, thanks to a massive opening partnership between Dave Barton and Andy Reid (who also scored a sensational century). Andy then took all-rounder of the day honours with 4 wickets in the second innings. A great result for the club considering the disarray we were in on Saturday morning.
Onwards and upwards! (Ash plume permitting)
Until next week,
Skipper
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