Making hard work of it is, for some people, a way of life. As I had to explain repeatedly to a lovely old northern gentleman several times over the space of minutes and then hours on the weekend, this is nothing to do do with the new generation being afraid of a days hard graft are you sure you used to lay railway sleepers with your teeth yes, I do have a job actually I work with computers well, it is a job really I do get paid for it you know yes, I know I have soft hands like a lady thank you for pointing that out now I don’t think theres any need for that kind of language sir I’m sorry I didn’t catch that no, I am not from South Africa yes, I was aware that you were stationed in Australia briefly during the war as you told me a little while ago yes, Melbourne is a lovely city but no, I am not from there and I am not sure that you could still get your shoes repaired for nowt at that cobblers on the corner no, I am not sure what that street was called no, I don’t know Bill Mayweather from Fitzroy yes, the weather really is perking up isn’t it lovely could be a real cracker no, I don’t remember the summer of 1967 but I am sure it was great so, I really must go as I have to get some work done before Monday no, I won’t be heading down into the mines that’s not what I do for a living <sigh> no, it has nothing to do with the new generation being afraid of a hard days graft….
Kilmington and Stourton were looking to rebound from an absolute schmacking from Curry Rivel by welcoming divisional strugglers Fitzhead to what was a hot baked KSCC. Fitzhead were without a win to date and, with the wicket looking so flat you could sail a ship off the edge of it into the abyss, it looked like a good day was in the offing for a powerful KSCC batting unit. When Your Brave leader™ won the toss, the opposition captain did not even wait to ask what we would do and promptly got his bowlers prepared for a day in the field.
The first innings started brightly enough, with Messrs Hansen and Williams making early headway. Certainly, a 15 run first over was the sort of statement of intent usually reserved for German panzer divisions heading in an easterly direction. However, the Skipper (15) fell for the trap that was set him as a blistering drive went low to the man at short cover who snaffled it up in good fashion, expertly not moving at all and taking a grab close to the floor. The Sheik and The Anternator continued the ball rolling with some positive shots and making use of a quick, dry outfield. However, the second step in the self-destruct sequence was offered up by The Anternator who went back to the spinner and promptly destroyed the off-bail with his flashing blade. Quite what the bail had done to deserve this was never quite established, but whatever it was it left the big man steaming as he walked off the ground for 20. And so another handy partnership formed between the blisteringly fast Jules Cosby and the slightly less athletic Biffer Burles. They kept the scoreboard moving and the boundaries coming. The story gets a little bit murky here as I was busy sorting out stuff in the clubhouse but, what I am sure of is that when I left we looked in total control and then, in a pretty small space of time, both men had walked past me into the changing rooms. However, some expert journalism and historical research has uncovered that at least one of those men was caught out in the deep and that the other one was out some other way. Either way you look at it, both were undone all on their own and another 2 good starts were wasted. By some coincidence, both were out caught off the bowling of Greenway for 28. So it was once again down to those most silent of partners, The Professor and Rayzzo. They kept the scoreboard ticking over with singles all over the place…and one straight four from Jon nearly killed the non-striker, the bowler and the umpire in what would have been an elusive Yo Gotti “Happy Birthday” Crack Shot. Rayzzo (27) eventually joined the twenty club, finding himself out of his crease to the spinner. Livewire Benny and Jonny then started some hustle between the stumps to keep things going. Benny (18) got cleaned up looking for runs and The Professor (45) was left reassessing the figures when he also found himself down the wicket with the ball residing in the wicket keepers gloves. It was a good comeback to form for The Professor and very pleasing to watch. Freddie, Tommy B and Spence all made valuable cameos at the end to keep the scoreboard going up but it never quite reached the heights it should have. Kilmington finished on a very defendable 238/7 but could have been looking at a much bigger total if some big scores could have been made at the top.
Tea included some St Georges Flag cupcakes that tasted a little like disappointment, made with a lot of very expensive ingredients that probably shouldn’t be mixed together and put in a World Cup. Fitzhead came out after the break and looked to throw caution to the Wind, Earth, Fire, Cosby, Stills, Nash, Young and that tall bearded one from the Bee Gees who still won’t admit that his trousers were too tight. The openers made a pretty decent start against Tommy B and The Strangler. Without much chance and the odd lusty blow, they were making solid headway. Tommy found his way through the opener with a rare yorker, but that was about it. The Destroyer came on early and was handled with relative ease. Livewire had a decent spell but gave up a four ball an over. Once again Skippy was left scratching his head as to where to go and what to do next. Not one of the great thinkers of the game, he turned to his regular bowlers…Golden Boy Freddie Barton, who found turn and looked threatening from the get go. Fitzhead were travelling along with the rate and El Capitan was desperate for a break through. The recalled Tommy B was treated with complete disdain by the number 3 who played some of the most audacious shots this side of the NBA All-Star game. The Anternator came on for a short spell and, despite the captains field placings, secured the wicket of the opposition skipper for 51. Freddie picked up one and then a second to get the ball rolling wickets wise. Another bowling change later, Biffer Burles removed the dangerous hitter for a cold-sweat-inducing 71. Freddie struck twice more before his brother was once again brought back and sent packing by some crazy shots. It was down to another change that saw Snooky staggering down the unfamiliar top end of the wicket to grab 3 wickets in one over to close out the game and vastly improve his figures! Fitzhead ended up on 206 from 44 overs…but it was even closer than that.
Thanks to their weak lower order, KSCC were able to steal all 35 points. However, vast improvements are needed in all areas this week for the big game against Wincanton. We made very hard work of a game that we should have won easily and need to find a few extra gears come Saturday.
Batting:
J Rowe 54
J Cosby 28
D Burles 28
R Rose 27
Bowling: o m r w
F Barton 10 2 31 4
S Snook 9 0 32 3
D Burles 3 1 12 1
A Williams 3 0 17 1
T Barton 10 2 56 1
Out,
Skippy
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