There is a lot to be said for Sir Harold Twitchbottom even though, for most, this erstwhile school headmaster and Cheshire native wallows in obscurity. It was while was doing his duty for King and Country in the smoky depths of the Shanghai opium houses at the turn of the last century that he reached fatefully into the wrong kit bag and, rather than enjoying his beloved Farmer Johnson Cheddar, proceeded to work his way through a month’s worth of school stationary supplies. He was years ahead of his more celebrated modern peers such as Hester Blumenthal and the Kebab King in Putney, but his thesis (written mostly in a language of his own devising and allegedly scrawled on to the foreheads of passing dragons and devils) describing the relative merits of processed dairy products and gypsum compressed into sticks remains, if certainly one of the most astounding philosophical works created since the Greeks wandered around in bed sheets not because of austerity measures but because they liked it, largely unread. Luckily, he was sharing a room with then England cricket captain Archie McLaren who realised the genius of the man and decided that what his attack really needed was have contrasting bowlers from each end. To this day, Twitchie’s impact on modern cricket remains as vivid and, at times, terrifying as ever.
A wee spot of rain during the week suggested that there would be a lively surface at KSCC for their clash with North Curry. However, The Chairman had the covers on to protect against the elements and ensured that it was a hard if green deck that confronted both captains. Winning the toss when it could do with winning for once, El Capitan promptly sent the North Curry boys in and got ready to enjoy some good bowling conditions.
Tom Barton’s return to form seemed complete as he raced in from the top end, combining movement with blistering pace. He was simply too quick for the men that confronted him. Meanwhile, from the other end, the slightly less blistering (more like a foot massage) Snooky used guile and skill to leave the batsman pushing at outswingers and then chopped in half by in-duckers. While Tommy B went as close to ripping out the middle stump as you can get at Kilmington, Snooky executed one of the best 3-ball combinations you will ever witness. His 2 outswingers (including a dropped edge!) were followed up by the perfect off-cutter that disturbed both woodwork and batsman alike. Already in disarray, the North Curry cause was further dented when a wandering Matt Golding found himself neatly run out at the non-strikers by the ever present Strangler off a simple forward defensive. It was all one way traffic, the only bump being provided by North Curry strongman Midge who dispatched Tommy B for a lusty drive followed by a shock and awe style pull shot into the cows. However, his little cameo was cut short by the genius of The Professor. Once again, Jonny eschewed the offer of assistance from the conditions and skilfully lobbed a full bunger which Midge miscued and Tommy B moved quickly to his right at mid-off to take a great catch. The resistance from there simply collapsed. Spencer declared to the world that he had taken the finest catch ever seen and then proceeded to snaffle a couple of wickets of his own to close out the innings. North Curry had been dispatched by a brilliant combination effort from Snooky and Tommy B, all out for 79.
We turned straight around and had a bat before tea. The Anternator and Your Brave Leader(TM) were able to watch a few overs and eased to 30 odd before we took tea, after which the action began. As always, that action was provided by the man with the meanest drive in modern cricket, Ant Williams. He upped the pace with a couple of blistering short arm drives and then took his chances with a big straight six over the tallest man on the field who was standing at mid-on. His enterprising 36 broke the back of the chase but was cut short when he skied another mighty straight heave that went straight up. Unfortunately, there are no boundary lines up that way and he was caught only a couple of meters away from where he hit it. Jules was looking solid but he had appeared to get bogged down with his captain, who was busy trying to cut anything that came out of the bowlers hand. Eventually, The Skipper clattered a couple of leg side boundaries and the target was within sight. Jules edged one behind with only a couple to get, which brought Livewire Benny out to the crease for a monumental innings. He spent all of a couple of balls standing at the non-strikers as the final runs were collected from the other end and the 35 points were placed firmly in the bag.
North Curry didn’t turn up (except for the high energy pre-game training drills) but it was excellent stuff from our lads (who were barely on time) and we did the job required with plenty to spare.
Bowling: o m w r
S Snook 12 4 4 29
T Barton 7 2 2 17
S Churchill 3.3 2 2 7
J Rowe 5 2 1 13
T Reid 3 1 0 4
Batting:
A Williams 36
C Hansen 30*
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